Sunday is before Monday.

Feb

7

Tomorrow will mark my first day as a full-time writer. Truth be told, I’m terrified. I don’t think what I’m feeling is self-doubt, because I know in my heart I made the right decision. I think what I’m scared of is having nothing to show after this journey is over.

This may very well be a short life-journey, only four or so months. I could end up hating this. I could still be uninspired, much in the way I’ve been uninspired for the last two years. I could find nothing to do with my time. I could slink down into myself and hide from responsibility.

Because I’m thinking of these things, it must mean that at some point I’ve considered these “could haves” as possibilities or solutions to help mask a problem. I will not end up broken like that.

Everyone has so much faith in me, yet here I am on Sunday, tomorrow coming up fast, with so little faith in myself.

I’m all mixed up inside. My mind is racing. Nothing makes sense right now.

I feel as if I’m walking in a dream…

Leave a comment 6 Shout Outs

Written with fear by Nichole.
Filed away under introspection, starving artist, video

6 Responses to “Sunday is before Monday.”

  1. Noe Ruiz says:
    February 7, 2010 at 10:57 pm

    I admire your passion, keep up the great writing. Don’t forget to have fun! BTW awesome job on the new illusion.net redsign, so proud of you!

    Reply
    • Nichole says:
      February 9, 2010 at 7:31 pm

      Thank you Noe. I will keep everyone posted on how my writing is coming. And thank you for the praise on the website! Maybe it will be good enough to land me some infrequent freelance work.

      Reply
  2. daltonsbriefs says:
    February 8, 2010 at 8:43 am

    Good luck in your new writing career, I hope you find great success and get to enjoy your new role.

    Reply
  3. Rich Schmidt says:
    February 8, 2010 at 10:31 pm

    I wish I’d read this yesterday, when you wrote it… but now that I’ve read your next post, from today (Feb 8), it’s kind of funny how yesterday you were afraid you wouldn’t be inspired! :) You clearly were!

    I’m glad you have these two posts on your blog, one after the other, so that the next time you’re feeling like you were when you wrote this one, you can be reminded that the next day might turn out much better than expected. :)

    Reply

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