Jinked

Another M&M event today with my mentee K through Discoveries Unlimited. We were invited by the Society of Women Engineers at Valparaiso University to come and visit, look at their awesome VisBox, learn a little about engineering, and build a bridge out of K’NEX to be stress tested.

I was most impressed with the VisBox demonstration. One of the programs we were shown was this mockup of a castle. It felt sort of how I feel when walking through a lucid dream: there but not really there. That feeling of awareness yet slight disconnect stuck out the most. It was awesome. I wonder if anyone else felt the same way.

Anyhow, after the VisBox we were building bridges. We had a large group of eight so only a few could work on the bridge at time. A few girls were quite eager, and we mentors stepped back quite often to let the girls have free reign. I mean, the event was about them and their learning. We were sort of guiding, offering direction when they asked questions. K and I though, we just sort of hung out on the side, both of us perched on tables, facing each other.

K is hard for me to read sometimes. I want her to have fun and I want her to be involved, but I don’t want to be an overbearing nag pushing her to do things she’s maybe not interested in. Maybe she wasn’t sold on the project, or maybe she was reluctant to speak up and ask to piece bits of K’NEX together with the other girls. I don’t know. She’s quiet, keeps to herself, but I can see in her eyes that she’s oftentimes soaking in what’s going on around her.

That’s not a bad thing.

I was reading an article in the newest issue of Psychology Today about introverts. It’s very much akin to this blog article. People who are introverted are not shy or socially inept, but rather they process situations differently, they reflect while absorbing information rather than speaking out, and most importantly, they draw energy from within themselves rather than external stimuli. I am very much an introvert, and although my last job in marketing has taught me how to speak in meetings or in public forums, I still am the girl at parties leaning against the wall people-watching.

If K is an introvert, I understand. I can relate. I don’t want to say I have empathy because that usually implies something is wrong and that it needs to be fixed. K is far from broken. I just want to know how we can relate to each other a little better, that’s all. I’m afraid she’s thinking that I’m not trying.

So while our group built a bridge we sat on top of tables talking, communicating not necessarily about STEM but about life. K was talking about basketball again, and I asked if she was thinking of maybe playing for her school. She said she didn’t think she’d play well on a team, that she’s better with 1-on-1. I said you always can learn how to play on a team. Everyone learns how to work with others at all different points in our lives. She should try. I really hope she tries. She looked a little despondent.

There are times when I’m around K that I want to give her a big hug and tell her things have their ways of working out in the end, but I’m not sure if hugging her is appropriate. I’m not sure what the other mentors would think, or even her mother. Sad that we live in such a world, and that I have to actually think about those sorts of things. It’s nothing against K, like I said she’s a great girl and despite what she may say, I believe she’s quite intelligent, but there have been quite a few times where she looked like she could use a hug.

I’m not sure what K and I learned about engineering today, but I do hope she will consider playing basketball with her school. Maybe the bridge we built was one between ourselves rather than one over a table with a bunch of K’NEX.