Jinked

Tonight was Discovery Unlimited’s M&M night, where mentors and mentees came together for the very first time during the fall semester. It was a casual meet and greet. When I arrived I picked up a name tag at the door. On the front was my name; on the back were the letters DNA. My mentee’s name tag would have something tied to those three letters. I had to find her.

After a small search in the corner of the room, I found her. K’s name tag had deoxyribonucleic acid on the back. I looked at her. She looked at me. We were matched.

I’ve never been a formal mentor, and if tonight was any indication, it will be a bit of a challenge. Sure, I’ve worked a little with my friend’s kids. I remember helping Marisol’s little girl spell words and color pictures whenever I would visit. Shaun’s son I sometimes played with as he was learning to speak, pointing to random toys, asking what each of them was. My sister is five years younger than me, so maybe I’ve even mentored her a little at various points in her life. I never had much of a problem teaching them, helping them, mentoring them. Yet tonight, as K and I sat side by side eating cookies, drinking water at a very long table, I was having a bit of trouble.

I think now that because I have the official title of “mentor” I’m thinking about it more. Perhaps I’m trying too hard. I wanted to get to know K, so I asked her questions. She’s interested in technology, but also really likes language arts classes. She’s very quiet. She didn’t ask me questions, even when I prodded. Perhaps she didn’t know what to ask or say to a stranger. Perhaps I was boring or maybe too overbearing with my own questions, I don’t know. We had an hour to kill.

In some ways, K reminds me of myself when I was younger. Quiet. A loner. She said she knew some of the girls in the mentoring program, but she wasn’t friends with any of them. Those girls got good grades. She said she didn’t. And the only thing I thought to say was, “It happens.”

Seriously, Nichole? It happens? Hindsight is 20/20. There are so many things I could have said, should have said, but I didn’t. When she said her singing sucked (which her mother said she was very good at), part of me shattered. She is me at that age. She is me now to an extent, not thinking things I’m good at are actually good enough. That they suck.

I feel a little at a loss, but I also feel really challenged. I want to be engaging as a mentor, teach some things maybe. Tonight I tried too hard at being her friend, which I guess is okay to an extent. I aim to please a little too much, which isn’t good either. I need to look over my mentoring handbook again.

I have some ideas of projects or whatnot to pass a long. She said she uses Facebook, and she used to write stories. Maybe she can begin writing again and start a blog. Maybe she’d be interested in making a pocket zine (using technology like Illustrator to make it). Maybe explore other avenues of interest via the web. Make a video, a podcast, a paintchat. I’d like to tie technology into the things she already likes to do.

If any of you have tips, ideas, anything, please comment. I really do want to be a good mentor; tonight I was a little stuck is all. Hopefully I will get into the swing, K will open up, I won’t say anything stupid, and we will have a great, long-lasting mentor/mentee relationship.