“You have to dream big” – Day 40
March 19th, 2010
I went to see Donna today after coming back from writing at Uptown Cafe to tell her that zinefest went well for me and that I really appreciated her letting me make free copies of my zine at her business. We talked for awhile and she asked me what my goals were, not just for this starving artist stint but in the grand scheme of things. I wasn’t entirely sure, so I said to get a book out. She smiled at me and told me I have to dream big.
I’ve had an inferiority complex since I was a teenager, so dreaming big has always been a bit of a problem for me. I know I’m successful in many aspects of my life, but I’ve always been reluctant to have big dreams. I think it’s fear of failure and not living up to someone’s expectations (my own or someone else’s) that always holds me back. I’m terrified of failure because I know how horrible it makes me feel, so I avoid it. I take the easy way out a lot of the time because I like being comfortable.
Quitting my job was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done in my life. It made me very uncomfortable, but when I handed in my resignation I had to push my inferiority complex into the corner. No, I had to beat it with a stick. I had to be able to go through with this. I had to. I was unhappy, and this was my first chance at happiness for a very long time. It was my first big dream in quite a while.
I’m working on dreaming bigger each day. Right now my dreams are still kind of small, but I don’t mind really.
Nichole: If you have time, go to Jeffnoel.com and read his blog. He actually writes 5 blogs a day, each one with a different purpose. He is very inspirational. Read all 5 if you have time. Although Jeff does not directly talk about it, he is a facilitator for the Disney Institute and that is how I stumbled upon him. If you need inspiration, you will find it in his blogs. At lane8.org he talks about his story and how he went from one push up a day to World Class runner. His blogs are going to be some kind of a book someday. If you can follow from the beginning I think you will enjoy. Again each blog has a different purpose but all very interesting. His mantra is “if you goal isn’t impossible, you are not reaching high enough”. His goal is to find a cure for his sons incurable disease. How’s that for dreaming big? He is the one I told you about today that talks about “don’t die with a book inside”. Donna
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Hope your cold just skips stage four and you are feeling better soon.