Don’t quite fit into the zine scene – Day 81
April 30th, 2010
Zine section of my website.
GoldenTech recently put out a challenge, pushing people to focus on inbound marketing for 33 minutes a day. I left my job in web design with an online marketing firm without so much as saying good riddance. Even so, I still can’t shake my marketing persona. It’s been with me for the last four years, so it’s pretty well ingrained. Sort of like a second shadow, minus the claws.
It’s pretty sweet I can still find applications for inbound marketing in my everyday life though.
Yesterday, my friend Rahsaan suggested I put up a zine section on my portfolio site (which was a painfully obvious thing to do, but it took him point it out), so I could better show people my zines. Some don’t even know I make them. Brilliant!
Putting my dear friend’s words into action, this morning and part of this afternoon I cuddled up with my iMac, some HTML, CSS and jQuery and made a very slick section for my zines. jQuery is my hero. Now I can promote my zines!
As I take the time to engage more, get to know people in the We Make Zines community more, I’m trying to ignore the outcast feeling roiling in the pit of my stomach.
Yeah yeah, I know life isn’t about fitting in with others, but the marketer in me feels out of touch with my consumer base. As a human being, I just feel… not as good as everyone else. This is a self-esteem problem on my part. That much is easily identified, as I’ve always had self-esteem issues. I want others to like my zines, to feel good about their purchase or trade. I don’t want to be cast aside in the trash and dismissed as a hopeless romantic.
I don’t have any queer issues to write about, I’m not very political, I don’t wear feminism on my sleeve, I enjoy strip clubs, I didn’t have a hard childhood, my parents are still married, I abstained from the sex, drugs and rock and roll mindset. I’m the odd girl pressed against the wall, terrified of the zine kids dancing in the middle of the room. And while anyone can tell me there is no shame in being the black sheep, I still feel very self-conscious.
It’s just something to get over. Well, not get over because I’m of the belief that no one can just “get over” anything in life, but rather I have to work myself through this hangup. Pull myself off the wall and be proud of who I am and the life I’m living. Stop worrying so much.
Next week I’m switching gears to work on my memoir again, and if I’m still not feeling it (which I really hope won’t be the case) I’ll probably dig up Always Chasing the Child and continue that. Amelia still has to start her journey. We have some camaraderie.
I’ll say it for you, “Stop being so hard on yourself, Nichole.”
I think we’re always going to struggle to find a place we fit. The fact is that no one likes feeling totally original or different because that borders on feeling alone. And sometimes when you put yourself in a new community of people who don’t really know you yet, it’s hard to take a breath and let them get to know you.
But, for the record, I think you’re pretty brilliant from the little interaction we’ve had. And I don’t like many people, so that totally says something.
You’re right. I think the whole newness factor for me is overwhelming, but hey… it will only get better over time! And you’re pretty awesome yourself. :)
i’ll flip it and say that it is good that you are hard on yourself. let your friends and family keep you grounded. it is good to self evaluate and ask yourself questions. it is good to think about the person that you are. it isn’t being hard on yourself, it is avoiding hubris. you are very motivated and making progress. keep on keeping on and all those other cliched things.
I will definitely keep on keeping on and all those cliched things. You’re one of the most supportive people I have on my journey right now, and that means a lot to me. If you you ever stumble across any coding side work, let me know. I want to keep on this journey for as long as possible.
Thanks for keeping me grounded, buddy.
Very nice, enjoying your new creations. Keep on doing what your doing, try your best, do what you love and spread the smiles around the world :-)
I like doing what I love. It makes me really happy. That and I’m always certain to spread the smiles!
Nice interface! I love how you can go through the samples and they are on a table! Really, really sweet design. Amazing stuff.
I really enjoy your zines. They have a unique voice and style that makes you want to keep reading. Plus, the content is different so your narrative stands out from the rest who just write about what has already been written about.
Keep up the great work and I’m with Rahsaan—be has hard on yourself as you can. You’re the only one who can make you do anything. ;-)
I really like how I set up the zine section too. I really miss coding some days, so it’s nice that I have little things I can do to quench that coding thirst I have.
I’ll keep sending you zines! I have some new ideas in the works. Do you know if there is a “zine scene” at all down by you. I know Lafayette isn’t Chicago, but in the city a lot of bookstores carry zines. I thought maybe in a college town some of your bookstores may do the same? Let me know if that’s the case!
The farmer’s market started by me. Did yours start? I know I keep saying it, but I need to get down there and visit sometime soon.