Jinked

I realize that I haven’t been 100% fair to Twilight fans, especially those who are head-over-heels for Edward Cullen. Twilight is not my cup of tea (and truth be told, I think the writing is tripe but to each their own), but I need to step back and quit criticizing all the girls and women who want an Edward (or I guess that werewolf guy Jacob) of their own in their lives.

There’s no harm in acknowledging a fantasy, as long as it stays just that and someone doesn’t divorce her husband because he will never compare to the “scintillating” beauty of Edward Cullen. (Seriously S. Meyer?) And to be fair, even though I think Edward’s relationship with Bella is very dysfunctional and emotionally dangerous, I would be a hypocrite to say I had never admired a not-very-socially healthy character on the other side of reality.

So who were some of the “people” Nichole had these feelings for in her younger days? Prepare to step back in time and have a laugh or two.

The Man with the Red Eyes – What most people know is that A Wrinkle in Time is my all-time favorite book. I first read it when I was 12 and loved it, and I’ve read it at least 15 times since. Even my English Undergrad Thesis was on it. But what people might not know is that even before I was a teenager I had a thing for the Man with the Red Eyes. Seriously, even only if he was a part of the story for a very short while.

The Black Rider – When I was in seventh grade I read every fantasy book I could get my hands on. The Dark is Rising was one of my favorites, and I remember feeling very… something whenever I’d read passages that had that Black Rider in them. (I got the warm happys if you know what I mean.) I always wished Will would lose and the Black Rider and the Dark would win. One of my first smutty things I ever wrote (which was in middle school; I’m so bad) had the Black Rider in it.

Cloud Strife – Okay, this has to be as bad as Edward Cullen because girls who love Cloud are just as batshit crazy… and in early high school I was one of them. At least I liked the version of him that came before all that Advent Children craziness. Why did I like Cloud? Because he was messed up. He always looked like he could use a hug. I could handle a guy like that.

Id – This game is over 10 years old, so I don’t care if I spoil it for you. Id was one the main character Fei’s other personalities. That in and of itself was intriguing to me. It also didn’t help things that he was the destructive one who pretty much got off on killing people. I found that attractive in a very odd sort of way. I would like to thank Id for sparking interest in pain fetishism.

David Hayward – My mom is going to laugh. No, everyone is going to laugh. At one point (I think early in college) I would always watch my mom’s soap with her in the evening and yes, I was very much into one of the characters. He was the scheming, conniving doctor and to me, very easy on the eyes. Uber lame but he used to give me stomach flutters when he’d be on screen.

Gonzo – A Muppet. So sue me! I love weirdos! Seriously though, Gonzo is pretty much one of the only non-evil, non-sociopath characters I really liked and crushed on growing up. He has all the traits I’d love to find in someone, man or woman. He is who he is and he’s not afraid to show it. (Or maybe I always liked him because I see a lot of Gonzo in myself?)

That’s all for now. Maybe I’ll indulge more on a different day, because believe me when I say there are many more to add to this list.

Sorry Edward lovers! I’ll be nicer to you in the future, considering the extent of my past. :)