Jinked

Rock, Paper, Scissors Tournament. Photo by Geoffrey Hudson Photography

Rahsaan and I trekked in my little Cavalier to Faith Church in Dyer for the INsight Design Conference . I’ll be honest, having heard this conference was to be held in a church, I wasn’t expecting much. I pictured a rinky-dink place, much like the churches I was used to, where we had to sit in the pews or at least be in direct view of a display of wooden crosses. This was not the case. I didn’t see Jesus once! This church was the least church-like church I had ever visited in my life.  It was huge, like a convention center-meets-hotel-meets-public-school-that-took-thousands-of-my-tax-dollars-looking monstrosity. It had pool tables, stages for bands, a snack bar area. So perfect for a conference. It all made sense!

The people made me smile

Getting a bunch of creatives in one place always shakes up conversation. Alan Drake and Colin Drake were sporting fabulous skinny ties and sick business cards. (Both also had beautiful hair, but I was too shy to tell them so.) I met up with a wonderful creative house located right in the city I live: Group 7even. We all have mutual connections to Dan Patton and my friend Atom Groom, so that was pretty interesting. Mary and Karl were also there. Oh, and an interior designer. She had a sweet portfolio, as did Miss Vega, whose new email address I still need.

I danced. There was a DJ who gave me some of his music on CD. I lost the Rock, Paper, Scissors Tournament, but the guy who beat me won. That made it all okay. He got a trophy. I got food. Prizes. A graffiti wall. Tag team design. All good stuff.

What sparked inside me

One of the speakers during the night said something that my friend Atom told me shortly before I embarked on this Writing Journey. He said, it was a good thing to be uncomfortable. Get too comfortable, and your life is stagnant. The uncomfortable drives you to work towards learning, bettering your community, bettering yourself.

It reminded me how I was very scared to be uncomfortable, especially in the beginning of February when I had first quit my job. I didn’t know what was going to happen. How long would my savings last? Would I be bored? What exactly would I do during the day? Would I even be remotely productive as I wanted to be?

So many questions, and because I didn’t have any of the answers, I was terrified. I had a sick feeling in my stomach for the first week of my journey as I worked hard to prove to people that I was doing something meaningful with my life. It was a wretched feeling. I had the potential to create so many problems, so many worries, because of the Unknown. I didn’t know what, but something was setting me up for failure, I just knew it.

It took a month, maybe a little longer, but I saw that instead of creating problems, it was much easier and forthright to create opportunity. Nothing I did during the day was worthless. Every experience, every book I read, every bit of prose I wrote, every line of CSS, every zine, every conversation, every single person I met has contributed in some way to the success of my Writing Journey. A new door opens every minute of the day. With every breath I take, I learn something new about myself and the world around me.

Why has it taken me 28 years to see how productive, gratifying and self-actualizing it is to see life as a constant opportunity rather than a constant hurdle?