Jinked

I found it so hard today to get any work done. In the morning I had met up with Rahsaan and James at Uptown Cafe here in Valpo. James was nice enough to buy us unemployed people a sweet chai tea and some breakfast. Some other ex-coworkers were at the cafe as well, moseying inside a little later. We chatted for awhile, asked how things were and all that typical fare conversation. I’m happy things aren’t a total mess for them. Messy, but not a mess. There is a difference.

There was a girl across the cafe, snuggled up all cozy on one of the few couches, reading a book and listening to headphones. Both Rahsaan and James said she was watching me walk by when I would get up to use the bathroom or grab a menu or whatever. I glanced at her a couple times, catching her eyes. They seemed to wander a little, so I smiled.

I lost all the nerve I had to say hello, or anything at all for that matter. I don’t know why. I thought I was getting better at that sort of thing. I still have much to learn.

I really want to see her again. She was blond and pretty and she read books. I wondered what was in her headphones. I go to Uptown Cafe enough, so maybe I will  see her again. Our paths may just cross. It’s sort of exciting to think about, and write about, but I still think I blew it. Chances often come once a lifetime, maybe twice if you are lucky.

I wrote the first half of twelve. I really have to get cracking on the eleventh bit because it needs a lot of editing. This chapter came out like a machine, almost void of emotion. Jen sort of did that to me in the first place, so I guess it’s fitting.

Dreams of blond bookworms would be very nice tonight.