Jinked

I didn’t have it in me to update yesterday, what with the trip to Chicago and a night out with my friends. By the time I got back from wining and dining and general chaos, I was beat. My legs hurt from walking all day yesterday.

My arms ache tonight from yoga.

This weekend I will be working on my first zine. The content needs a good scrubbing, which worries me a little, but I think things will end up all right. No, I suspect it will be nothing short of fantastic, given the amount of love I’m pouring into it. Yeah, fantastic! Awesome. I am debating whether or not I should make a trip out to Hammond to all the thrift stores and hunt down a typewriter. There was this one that had a lot of them the last time I was there. Apparently you can still buy ribbons online.

Write a letter to a friend, even if you don’t send it.

Sandy–

I’ve never written you a letter before; I only know how to bitch over teh interwebz. You’ve listened to me bitch for so long. Twelve years? Maybe more. Maybe a little bit less. I’m 27 now. I will be 28 in just a couple months.

It’s crazy how much time has passed.

We’ve come a long way, huh? Grown up a lot. Have done and seen so many things in the last decade. Somewhere along the line we have become “responsible adults.” I never would have thought that would happen. I used to cling to whatever scrap of childhood I could, but there are things in life that are always inevitable, much like death and taxes.

Yeah, we all have to grow up sometime. I think I’m still in the process.

This weekend I’m going to start cleaning up the content for my first zine. I’m thinking it will be a quarter zine. Cut ‘n paste. My friend Rahsaan has been chomping at the bit to show me Indesign. He’s good at layout. I think the first time around I want to do something more traditional. Something that speaks to the way things once were. It isn’t necessarily how they should be, but it’s always good to put your feet in the dirt and feel where you came from. What is the craft all about? What does it mean to me? To you?

After making the mockup, I’m gonna try to find someone with a photocopier. If worse comes to worst, I can copy at the library. 10 cents a copy.

When I was a kid I think it was 10 cents a copy. Inflation doesn’t seem to affect photocopier prices. That’s good.

I really like Marbles. Everyday I do an exercise before I write what “I’m supposed to.” It’s a good warm up. Gets my words flowing and my wrist aching just a little. It’s a good feeling. I used to write until my wrist screamed, pain blazing up my forearm until something in me said to stop. My conscience, no doubt. Or maybe my pain tolerance was sending me subliminal messages. I’d rest a moment or three and pick up the pen once more, and once more my wrist would ache after a few hundred words. Such a good cycle. Kind of masochistic. I dig.

Yeah, I really dig.

I hope everything is well with you. It seems you’re trying to sort things out in your life as well. If we ever get to a point where we are so satisfied and feel comfortable with routine, that’s when we should worry. I think it’s best to be a little bit uncomfortable. It gives us something to work for and lends perspective to the world around us.

I often wonder if it’s the pursuit of happiness, rather than happiness itself, that makes people genuinely happy. What would I do with happiness once I got it?

I would be satisfied. Comfortable.

There would be nothing left to strive for. And that is no way to live. <3

I love you, girly.
Nichole – Leenie